ODM-PNU sign an agreement

An agreement has been signed by ODM-PNU, we can now reveal. Although the details of the agreement are sketchy, it is widely believed that it borrows heavily from the earlier agreement which bandit president Kibaki and peoples' President Raila were to have signed. PNU reneged after World Bank country Director Collin Bruce had hammered a deal.

In the agreement, the preamble read "His Excellency Hon Mwai Kibaki and Hon Raila Amolo Odinga, being committed to the maintenance of the rule of law and to sustenance of democratic governance in the Republic of Kenya, AND BEING CONCERNED with the violence, the loss of lives and property following the pronouncement of the presidential election results, commit ourselves to a speedy resolution of the unfolding events to ensure that our great Nation returns to stability".

The ODM-PNU mediation efforts were shifted to a remote but cozy resort in the heart of the Tsavo after a brief session with MPs at the Speaker's kamukunji on Tuesday. The contents of the agreement will be made public on Friday by the head of the eminent persons, Dr Kofi Annan.

The PNU team has been feeling the heat as a result of renewed pressure from the UK and Switzerland who have indicated that they will follow the American example and impose travel restrictions on saboteurs who will be perceived to have stood in the way of a political settlement. The stakes of the Annan team are so high that US President will seek to rally five African Nations including current AU president Jakaya Kikwete of Tanzania to accept nothing short of success from the Annan mediation team.

In yet unwelcome news, the choleric head of the disgraced ECK and Kenya's coward-in-chief, Samuel Kivuitu poured cold water on Kibaki and compared him to dictator Moi.

To make matters worse, the UK has ignited the flames of the embattled bandits with the High Commissioner Adam Wood declaring that they did not recognize the bandit at SH. Mr Wood said "Having seen the irregularities in the presidential elections documented by the whole range of the observer missions including the EU [European Union], we do not find the government as presently constituted represents the democratic will of Kenyan people."

The Annan talks have been adjourned until Monday in a sign that there was probably no meaningful progress made in the expensive resort in Tsavo. We hate to imagine that PNU is standing in the way of a quick and amicable resolution to the current crisis in Kenya.