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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Prime Minister Raila and Bandit President Kibaki meet as ODM's line-up takes shape

Peoples' Prime Minister Raila Odinga and Bandit President Mwai Kibaki have been meeting to fine-tune the shape of the power-sharing government. The meeting is currently under way at Harambee House (why not State House, we wonder) and this marks the first time that Mr Kibaki and the Prime Minister are meeting under a relaxed atmosphere.

The meeting has inspired hope in the country that a revival of the good moments of the good old days is back. It will be remembered that in 2002, Mr Kibaki was declared the joint opposition candidate by the influential Raila at Uhuru Park during his famous "Kibaki Tosha" pronouncement.

The mood in the country was so electric after Raila led the team to campaign for the "missing captain", saying although Mr Kibaki was absent, the game must be played. Later, bandit Kibaki was led to dishonor the MOU leading to a fall-out which culminated in the most devastating defeat of an incumbent. In a home-coming trip by Kibaki in 2003, the crowds all along the roads demanded to be addressed by Raira, saying "Uyu niwe njamba (This is the warrior)."

In an about-turn, Mr Kibaki stole the presidency and was sworn in the twilight hours without the national anthem being played. He is yet to be inaugurated for his second and final controversial term.

The violence that erupted soon after has led to the death of over 1500 innocent Kenyans some very gory. The police have played their most dramatic role, engaging in Rambo-style killings and a killing Olympics. Some 500,000 Kenyans have been displaced and are yet to find enough schools and other facilities for their families.

The truce between bandit Kibaki and Peoples' Prime Minister Raila was brokered by the former UN Secretary General Ambassador Kofi Annan with the help of the charismatic Tanzanian President and current head of the AU, Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete.

It has since emerged that bandit Kibaki signed the agreement at the doorsteps of Harambee House after too much pressure was brought to bear on him. It is confirmed that the Americans and the EU threatened to intervene and save Kenya from sliding to the abyss.

The "save Kenya from the abyss" line was a coded script for an overthrow of Kibaki's illegal regime. That explains why he signed the dotted lines without as much as consulting the stakeholders in his bandit second term.

It is instructive that subsequent to the agreement, some disquiet has been expressed in the PNU quarters, basically by criminal elements who have been benefitting from State largesse at the expense of Kenya. Mr Kibaki's farm in Naro Moru has since been torched by an alleged mad man. The truth is that the mayhem that attended Mr Moi in the thick of the post-election fights, where his farms and factories were targeted for arson is also coming to Kibaki.

Power sharing
One of the sticky issues in the power-sharing arrangement is how to apportion ministries. Under conventional grand-coalition arrangements, the party that provides the president and the vice-president cannot provide the minister for finance. It is this line of thinking that informs a jittery Kalonzo Musyoka who must be rueing his tactless departure from the ODM family and eventual betrayal of the Peoples' president by joining forces with the bandits.

It is known that ODM will be pushing for key positions in the ministries of Finance, Internal Security/Provincial Administration and Foreign Affairs. Also waiting for a dramatic return is Mama Rainbow, ODM's first minister whose return to Afya House will not only prove Kalooser Musyoka wrong, she will be cementing her position as Ukambani's most nationalistic personality.

Musalia Mudavadi is set to deputize Raila and bag a ministry in charge of recovery and poverty eradication. Also on the wings are a battery of youthful politicians whose first term in parliament they hope will be characterized by some bendera. Also targetted by ODM is Uhuru Kenyatta's portfolio which is likely to go to the battle-hardened former Mombasa mayor and Pentagon member, Najib Balala. It will be remembered that in a continuation of PNU's inept rigging, Uhuru illegally nominated some 100 strange fellows as councillors in a move which irked the discredited and purely powerless ECK boss Samuel Kivuitu who came out barking the next day. It was merely that, a bark. Because he could not demote the nominated kanjoras. Mr Kenyatta had used his illegal powers to pre-empt ODM's sensational support of the beautiful Adopt-A-Light boss Esther Passaris. ODM will seek to remedy the situation by a late nomination, no doubt.

ODM has the highest number of women legislators, and they hope to exercise parity in honoring their manifesto by appointing a sizeable number to the cabinet. Top on the list of women to be honoured will be their top-most diplomat and former Head of the Civil Service and Secretary to the Cabinet, Dr Sally Jepngetich Kosgei. Dr Kosgei swore in Mr Kibaki in his first term, but the mount Kenya mafia haunted her out of office without a pension. Her return after successfully mediating for the ODM will be a loud rebuke to the loud-mouths in PNU. There are Prof. Hellen Sambili, Prof. Margaret Kamar, the flamboyant Bishop Margaret Wanjiru and a nominated MP who will carry the flag for the ladies in ODM.

Not to be left behind, ODM will demand the post that is currently held by Ms Martha Karua so as to be in poll position to mid-wife a new constitution. Attorney General Amos Wako's fate hangs in the balance, too.

The party is also understood to be rooting for key slots in the parastatal sector as well as several PSs which posts will likely go to technocrats to help turn the country and the economy around. The post of the top-most civil servant is still guarded but it is known that among the initial casualties of PM Raila will be Mutahura, Police Commissioner Ali, Disinformationmeister Mutua and a number of other political civil servants who had no idea that power would slip from Kibaki's fingers.

John Githongo's name has been mentioned severally as the likely head of civil service because ODM faces a roadblock in removing the disgraced and toothless Aron Ringera, whose complicity in graft cover-up and failure to prosecute corruption apart from mouthy pronouncements lazed in pomposity is yet to yield any major casualty of his anti-corruption purge. Mr Githongo was haunted out of Kenya because he refused to play ball with the thieves. It will be a moment of sadness for the cabal if the man they loathe returned to spearhead recovery and anti-corruption.

Among the technocrats that Prime Minister Raila will want to rope in to his administration is Dr David Ndii. Dr. Ndii is a highly respected development policy expert at the UoN with a PhD from Oxford University and previously worked at the world Bank. He is likely to lead the economic reconstruction in an ODM attempt to reach out to the Kikuyu community.

Mr Odinga's powerbase, the No. 10 Downing Street of Kenya will likely be in Karen. It is expected that a Mr Chege will be among the key aides in the Prime Ministers' Court. What sexy name Raila will choose to call the residence is not yet known but trust him to coin a catchy word for it.

Kenyans are soon going to witness a civilized departure from the theatre of madness and absurdity which has been the hallmark of the choleric Lucy Kibaki. Mrs Ida Odinga, together with the Pentagon Spouses will certainly spearhead some creative and salacious departure form the dowdy cacophony of Lucifer.

The coming weeks will be interesting to see but this blog has been informed that ODM is likely to bring in a career Provincial administrator as PS in the line ministry to replace the Mungiki-godfather Gituai. Keep it here for details.

What is certainly happening is that there are serious realignments with politicians and businessmen falling over each other to placate the emerging centers of power namely William Ruto, Musalia Mudavadi, Margaret Wanjiru, Mrs Ngilu and Najib Balala among others. Already, we have witnessed a vicious brood of yesterday's hatemen falling over each other to show their closeness to PM Raila.

Meanwhile we can now confirm that Mr Salim Lone will play a key role in the government's spokesman's office with media practitioner Tony Gachoka coming in to the PM's press corps in one way or another.